Finding Self Worth

Posted on June 30, 2011 by
"How do I go about finding my self worth and how do I build my self esteem?" My psychic teacher, Hope, gave me a psychic reading yesterday. Always insightful and helpful, she gave me this wonderful tidbit of information to ponder. One that I believe we should all think about from time to time. I'd been finding my self-worth in my success at my work, i.e. how much money I was making and feeling my self-worth was tied up into being able to successfully have a baby. Well, since the process of conceiving a baby has used up so much of my energy each month, I've not had much energy/space for my business. So, I was left with finding my self-worth in two places that were yielding no rewards. I often felt like a failure and in despair from this system. I am done with that I know I offer so much more! So, how else could I build my self esteem? I started thinking about my self-worth as it related to other areas. I am funny. I have a strong connection with my spirit and spirituality, and I help my husband, friends and clients connect more with their spirit and the divine within themselves, now that's pretty amazing! I give insightful, compassionate, clarifying psychic readings to be of great benefit to people. I give a lot of love, care and healthy food to my three pups. I realized as I was making the list that these things are who I am, not what I do. Holy crap- my old system was based on what I do, what I produce externally, not on who I am and the qualities I offer as a being. Now that I see that, it seems very silly to have been looking for my self worth in what I do, or my success. What I do is not who I am! I am not a human doing, I am a human being. So, hey, maybe it is ok I've been focusing on my being and developing myself spiritually, because this is what I have to offer always to everyone. I hope everyone can find their self-worth in who they are in their being and not in their doing. We could all use to build our self-esteem, so go ahead, make a list of your valuable assets as a being. Post them here as a comment even, tell the world why you are awesome!
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Natural Sunscreen Healthy for You

Posted on June 27, 2011 by
One of my favorite psychic energy skills is my natural sunscreen, which is healthy for you. About a decade ago, I moved to Colorado and people here are concerned about sun damage. It is very sunny, and the sun is much more intense than at sea level. At times, I even get a little tired of all the sunny sun- though love it 98% of the time! I knew I needed a solution to eliminate the need for chemicals and still enjoy the sun. Luckily this idea appeared to me and has worked like a charm! So, I move to Colorado and people are like, OMG- I need my sunscreen, where's my sunscreen, I need more sunscreen, slather it all over me, and on and on. At one point something clicked, people you are afraid of the sun. The thing that gives us life. Most cultures have worshiped the sun and now everyone is blocking the rays with chemicals. Seems odd to me! All my grandparents were farmers and were outside like 15 hours a day their whole lives and never used sunscreen. Ok, one did have skin cancer, just a little bit which was removed easily. He was the only one to smoke, and in Chinese medicine the skin is linked to the lungs, and helps with elimination of waste. I think it was from his smoking, not the sun! So, my solution...I decided to use my very own natural sunscreen shield. I put an energy bubble around my body to protect me from the sun. The next step is the most important, it is to feel the sun on my skin and give thanks to the sun and feel the nourishing energy of the sun entering my body through my skin. I connect with the healthy energy of the sun and set the intention my body/skin is better from the sun. I have been outside for hours, in Colorado, without sunscreen and have not been burned. When I start feeling fear that I will be burned from being outside so very long, I just re-intend that it is healthy for my skin. In the million hours I've been outside in the Colorado sun, I've only gotten four slight burns, and those were when I forgot to use the natural sunscreen shield, usually early in the summer when I just hadn't thought much about any of it. Everything is possible with our mind connected with love. This is just the beginning!
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Fertility Emotional Breakthrough or Breakdown

Posted on June 26, 2011 by
What a week! I really let myself have an emotional breakdown, or breakthrough this week. We went to the fertility clinic assuming we would being getting the go ahead to start the next round of treatments (first one was canceled due to ovulating "early", so this would have been the first full round). Alas, they found a cyst that had formed from using Clomid the round prior. My dreams of a "perfect" round of treatment, resulting in a pregnancy were going down the drain. Luckily my hubby was there with me and was able to be a part of the full force shock of the news. I'd been feeling he was disconnected from the emotions of it all and so luckily thought to re-schedule this appt before he went to work. He was with me to experience the groundless shock of our last-ditch effort at this thing-going western medicine was falling apart. We both had a teary day, though mine was more of a its-all-going-to-hell kind of teary. I felt barely verbal for a few days, just sitting in breakdown, falling apart and really letting myself feel the full depths of despair. No pep talking myself out of it this time, just being fully in the being buried alive kind of feeling of going into the depths of my shadow fears. Ah, after two full days of that, I finally started to feel joy again, and even some love! Feeling the connection with my heart and love for myself and others was priceless. It really makes it all worth it and life worth living. My prayer to the divine now is that I stay in connection with my heart and am able to cry or move through anything that is keeping me from my heart, joy and love!!!  
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Sanity Through Connection With Spirit

Posted on June 20, 2011 by
I find my sanity in the journey of conceiving a child through keeping my connection with spirit clear. To me spirit means a connection with that part of myself that is unseeable, untouchable, yet that which infuses life into my body and being, this is my spirit. There is also the spiritual aspect of life. I see this as connection to a greater aspect of life than can be seen or hear with eyes and ears alone. It is fascinating to me that when I go to the fertility clinic, even for a simple blood draw, I leave feeling some despair and depression. The energy of the clinic is one of focus on the physical only. Conception is a physical act only there. The egg and sperm meet up, the right conditions are present physically with hormones, and blood, then pregnancy happens. There is no place for spirit to be involved. When I get stuck in this idea and see only the physical aspect of conceiving a baby, I just feel so much despair. It is like my connection with spirit is closed and my focus is only on the body. I feel like my life force is cut off. It is thick and difficult to clear, even with all my psychic tools. It is like my being is too heavy to be able to reach up and clear off my windshield to spirit. I see it as my 6th and 7th chakras are blocked and any intuitive, third eye, spirit information is dimmed to almost nothing. As soon as I spend time with my psychic friends doing meditations, or in a class at the psychic center, I immediately feel my life force has returned! Every time! It is incredible. As soon as I open up to spirit and tune into the unseen world again, the world of our connection to the divine, with a group of people to validate this connection, I feel like I have a long lost limb back! Wow, I feel so lucky to have a way to return to feeling connected to the divine and with that knowing it is all perfect and as difficult as the journey can be, it is the karma I've decided to work with and it will provide me with rich lessons for growing as a being. I've decided to connect with my psychic friends or go to a class at the center within two days of going to the fertility clinic, so I can get out of the muck sooner and reconnect with my heart and spirit again.
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Villain Shows Her Ugly Face

Posted on June 15, 2011 by
So, it seems the unrelenting amount of crap being piled on top of my ego is trying to tell me something. Yes, thank goodness I have psychic energy tools to be a superhero sometimes, but other times, it seems what is coming through for me to learn is about being human. The dirty, dirty job of being human and willing to be the villain who shows her ugly face. I want to be of benefit to the world and all beings. I am pretty sure I took this vow (called bodhisattva vow in Buddhism- to return as a human and help until all beings are free from suffering) many lifetimes. I don't want to let anyone down or worse, be the person who ruins someones day by honking my horn and giving them a scowling look. Oops, sometimes that is me! Sometimes I am a jerk or lazy or shutdown. The last three and a half years my hubby and I have been "trying"- terrible phrase for it, to conceive a cute little precious sweet smelling baby. Well, hasn't worked yet and each month I go through periods of hours, days, a week, of being a big stick in the mud. I didn't talk about it for much of the last three years because I was sure it was admitting to being a worthless person. Ok, pretty much that is the point of our species right...reproduction. Like everything is based on being able to do that, right. So, not being able to is pretty worthless- or is it? I started to question my ego finally. Lisa is fucked up sometimes and in making peace with this super big fucked up part, I feel I'm making peace with me. If my husband divorces me because I didn't do the dishes, clean, walk the dogs or any paid work during a whole day, or even a week, while he slaved away at work because I felt too sad to do anything, well screw him. What a jerk he'd be, huh? Really, he'd likely not even notice, and not care if he did, because he knows it is hard on me. I am much harder on myself and expect wayyy more than he ever would. It feels like the lesson in this crazy mess of my life right now, is to be real with how I am feeling, tell people and let myself be a mess when I am feeling like one. Maybe the honking horn and the scowl is exactly what that person needed to pop out of feeling like a jerk themselves. The Hindu goddess Kali destroys many things and people in her path, yet her medicine of destruction is vital for new to be born. May all women allow themselves to be a little more Kali-like and a little more real- I'll keep doing as much of this myself, even when I'm sure I'll be shunned for being so awful, but can smile knowing I did what was best for myself and was fo' reals! Seems like good medicine for being a mama, cause sure as shit I'll not do that perfectly and the more I'm ok with that, and take care of myself and my needs in the journey, the more I might even enjoy it.
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4th dimension coming to you!

Posted on June 13, 2011 by
Fun weekend camping with my psychic friends talking about the 4th dimension and spirit guides! I lead my friend who is an acupuncturist, though a meditation where she could meet her spirit guides who help her in her practice. Very cool! She met a scientist with boatloads of knowledge who gives her answers on medical questions, a goddess with primordial wisdom who helps my friend tap into divine healing for her patients and even her marketing spirit guide. That was very cool to learn she had a guide who helps market her services to people, when she is clear who she wants for clients and how many, the guide send 'em her way! The latest in marketing gurus for sure!! With other friends, we talked a lot about the 4th dimension as this is where humanity is heading. We are currently in the 3rd dimension and are moving to a higher vibration, which is the 4th. On the 4th dimension, we will still have bodies, but will have Christ-consciousness. This means we will be infused with knowledge and love- lots n lots o love! Less suffering, more amusement and understanding. Our DNA will even shift to allow the vibration to be higher. This is the change the Mayans saw for 2012, the "end of time" will be that we will end time as we know it and shift to a 4th dimensional understanding of time as non-linear. I'm very excited about the change, it will be beautiful. The more people hold excitement and joy about the changes, the more the changes will be joyful and exciting 🙂 See a beautiful world where we understand our divine nature and it will unfold! Many blessings to you all during this change- it is intense, eh?!
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Psychic Help For Missing Dogs

Posted on June 9, 2011 by
My sister in law is friends with some people who's dog ran away. In my animal communication class, we learned how to see if a being is still in its body or not when people ask for psychic help about missing dogs. Rudy looks like he is still in his body- good. On the physical level he is in a high state of flight or fight and scared. Unable to act or think in a rational way to find his way home. He is stuck in survival mode and mostly hiding because he knows he could be lunch for some eagle. So, if you, dear reader, ever know about a missing animal, these are the best things to do to help: see the animal as safe and happy by holding a picture of this in your mind. Shine some gold healing light on the animal to help him/her calm to think "straight". Imagine the animal finding it's way home or going to someone who will help him/her go home. Animals communicate in pictures, so by holding these pictures, you are giving this communication to the animal. This little guy seemed to leave to help his owner learn a spiritual lesson- as is the case most of the time. The lesson seemed to be to the owner to help her realize the important things in life can quickly slip away and to make time and cherish what is important. Let go of business and focus on giving and receiving love. A good lesson to us all- be well Rudy! Go home...go home...
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Magical psychic superhero

Posted on May 25, 2011 by
Yay, finally set up my blog. This is about my 10th website, but my first blog! In my so-called-psychic-life today, I had a well after my birthday, "birthday breakfast" with two of my best friends! We talked about how dolphins are smarter than us hairy two legged beings and how like them, my friend told me she remembered "breathing" underwater when she was four years old. She has magical powers and can practically fly. From what I can tell when I give it a psychic look, it seems she has both angels that protect her and also a deep understanding of the possibilities for transcending time and space in her subconscious. Funny how even powerful people have a hard time letting themselves be conscious of their superpowers! Oh, it's nothing, I just get lucky...hmmm, no you are wicked awesome at manifesting. So, I think superpowers will be a big theme of this blog. Let's see where it will go!
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